Spell Check And AutoCorrect Are Killing Me

Not to go off on a curmudgeonly rant or anything, but yesterday I gave myself an ulcer trying to correct something on Apple's iTunes store.  CBS is debuting a new sitcom this month called Friends With Better Lives.  Good for them; I wish them well.  But on the iTunes store, in their "Free on iTunes" section, they offered us a "Sneak Peak" at the new series.  Yeah, "peak."

Spell Check and AutoCorrect can be wonderful tools.  They have all but eliminated one of my great pet peeves of all time, namely the misspelling of the word "deity" (meaning a god or godlike being) as "diety."  Some of my favorite writers used to make this mistake, and every bloody time it had the effect of completely knocking me out of the story narrative.  Thanks to modern software, though, this has all but gone away completely.

What has gotten much worse, though, is the misuse of homonyms.  Spell Check is not Usage Check, at least not yet, so words that sound the same -- their, they're and there, for example -- are often used interchangeably.  And incorrectly.

So for the record, here are a few of the worst -- now go ye, and sin no more:

HOARD -- a dragon's stash of gold and goodies
HORDE -- a huge group of something, like Attila's Huns, or lemmings headed for a cliff.

PEAK --  the top of the mountain

PEEK -- a quick look

PIQUE -- a feeling of irritation or resentment; you usually leave in a fit of one.  (Or, the feeling I have right after seeing Apple or CBS describe their quick look as a "Sneak Peak.")

And I shouldn't even have to, but:

THEIR -- belonging to them.  It's their problem that they can't spell.

THEY'RE -- a contraction of "they are," as in, "They're going to get this right if it kills me."

THERE -- a place indicator, as in, "The grammar book is right over there."

TO -- a preposition expressing direction

TWO -- more than one but less than three.  You know, just a couple.

TOO -- also, or as well, as in, "This frustrates the hell out of me, too."

BY -- next to, or close to

BUY -- as a verb, to purchase, and as a noun, simply a purchase.

THREW -- what you did to the ball

THROUGH -- how you went via the tunnel

Here's the thing:  you're sitting there, reading this, and thinking, "Geez, this guy is an uptight asshole.  Who freaking cares?"  Well, you should.  You can be making the tightest, most cogent argument in the world about something -- anything -- and it could be that you're making a point that I agree with completely, and then you misspell a simple word or phrase and it blows your argument up in your face.  I have a harder time being convinced of anything by someone who can't spell.  I'm not alone in this, I promise.

So please, please, please stop using Spell Check or AutoCorrect as your safety net.  It doesn't help with words that sound the same, even though they are used horribly and incorrectly with the end result of you seeming ignorant.  Which I know you're not, because you're reading me.  ;P

Daylight Saving Time: The More You Know...

...the more you'll hate it.

I'm usually set off into a major rant twice a year thanks to the switch back and forth with Daylight Saving Time (and yes, it's "Saving," not "Savings.")  I've always hated it and thought it was a stupid idea.  That we humans are essentially sheep who keep doing the same dumb thing over and over again because it has become a habit.  Nowhere is this more true than with the semiannual switch between standards of time.

As a kid growing up, I heard all the reasons for it; reasons which all turned out to be wrong.  That the switch was to accommodate farm schedules and give farmers "an extra hour of daylight" in which to tend crops.  That it was to create energy savings in time of oil crises.  And every single reason I ever heard growing up as to why we had to do this idiotic thing to ourselves twice a year is complete BS.

(Yeah, I'll get my hoe ready.  So I can shove it up your....)

I will spare you all the Wikipedia entry -- you can go read that for yourselves -- but the short version is that Daylight Saving Time was instituted in the 19th Century because of the independent efforts of two men.  One was an entomologist in New Zealand who wanted the extra daylight to hunt bugs for his collection after his workday was over.  The other was a Londoner who wanted more time for golf after work since dusk came too soon to suit him.

That's it.  That's why millions of people blindly put up with this crap every year.  Bugs and golf.

Bugs.  And.  Golf.

Early studies showing substantial energy savings turn out to be flawed.  If there are any savings at all -- and studies disagree even on that point -- those savings are in the neighborhood of less than one percent.  In fact, in 2000, parts of Australia began DST in late winter and promptly found that overall electricity consumption did not decrease.  Instead, the morning peak load and electricity prices both increased.  And it turns out that the majority of those farmers in whose name we do this stupidity hate it.  Absolutely hate it.

Just to be absolutely clear on a purely scientific point -- changing the clocks does not give us an "extra hour of daylight."  Our changing a clock does not make the sun stay in the sky for an extra hour.  The sun shines when the sun shines.  Which is why farmers are not fans of DST.  Farmers were never responsible for it.  No other profession works more with the sun itself -- not some arbitrary number on a dial -- than farmers.  They go out when there's light and work until it gets dark.  Period.  The time change has nothing to do with harvests or crop tending or anything else.  Bugs and golf.

I like to say that I never thought I'd admire the state of Arizona for anything.  I find their laws concerning immigration, their statewide reluctance to recognize Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s holiday and their overall conservatism offensive.  But I have to admire them for getting rid of DST over 40 years ago.  And the way they did it was genius.  They countered stupid reasons with their own stupid reason:  that DST gave them, not an extra hour of light, but an extra hour of DESERT HEAT, which was burdensome to their population.  So the federal government granted them an exemption.  Genius.

So while I can't believe this sentence is coming out of me -- we can all learn a lot from Arizona.  Get rid of the time change.

Rest In Peace, Harold Ramis

Yesterday we lost one of the greats, Harold Ramis the actor/writer/director/Renaissance Man who co-wrote (and in some cases, directed) a ton of classic comedies, including National Lampoon's Animal House, National Lampoon's Vacation, Caddyshack, Stripes, and Ghostbusters.  For me, his most memorable character as an actor is Dr. Egon Spengler, the science guy for the Ghostbusters.  When people quote that movie, nine times out of ten they're saying one of Egon's lines.  His passing has hit me pretty hard.  Not only because I am an enthusiastic admirer of his work but because he died from a particularly nasty autoimmune disease:  autoimmune inflammatory vasculitis.  His family must have known it was coming; Harold died at home surrounded by family.  He was 69.

Ramis had been out of the public eye since his last major attack of the disease in 2010 which made walking difficult for him.  AIV can cause all kinds of nasty complications, depending on where you have it and which organs are affected.  When fatal, it usually affects the skin and the kidneys, mostly, but it can happen anywhere in the body and to any organ system.  It is a close relative of autoimmune neuropathy, a form of which affects my autonomic and sensory nerves.  (I am thankful that my motor nerves are unaffected, at least so far.)

Harold Ramis leaves behind him an enviable body of work, including several films destined to be considered classics.  Ghostbusters is my personal favorite out of all of his movies, but only by the tiniest of margins.  It was filmed in part on location in the Tribeca part of Manhattan at the Fire Department of New York Hook and Ladder 8, which is still a working firehouse.  You can visit the firehouse and the guys on duty will be happy to share their little Ghostbusters museum with you, including the signs that hung outside for the two movies.  Yesterday they placed this little tribute outside their doors -- you can just make it out at the bottom right of the big red door in the second photo.

Dr. Egon Spengler, collector of molds, spores and fungus, believer that print is dead, and inventor of the PKE meter:

And Hook and Ladder 8 in happier times:

So long, Harold, and thanks for everything.

DC Comics...Definitely Confusing?

A few months back, DC launched its big event crossover, "Forever Evil."  The Big Event Crossover has become a "thing" with almost every major comics publisher.  Some event or story line changes the entire comics universe, and the story plays out across just about every title published by the company.  Usually there is a special title or mini-series along with it, maybe a bookend at the beginning and end of the Event, or maybe an actual series of books where the main plot plays out while the ramifications for the individual characters play out in their own respective comic books.

It is usually, sadly, a thinly disguised ploy to make money, with creativity taking a back seat.  The job of the Big Event Crossover is to get you to buy the extra books as well as some books that you normally don't read, in order to follow the story.  The hope is that you will stick with some of them after the Event is over.  Now that comics cost at least $2.99 apiece and usually closer to $3.99, it can turn out to be a substantial chunk of money for the dedicated reader.

When I was a kid, DC dealt with its then-30-year history by coming up with the Multiverse.  Those stories from the 1940's, when Superman and Batman were just starting out?  It turned out they were taking place on another Earth, Earth-2.  This was why "our" Superman and Batman weren't 60-year-old men still trying to fight crime.  This turned out to be rather creative on DC's part.  When they picked up another company's characters, if they didn't want to incorporate those characters into the main DC Universe (aka "Earth-1") they gave them their own Earth.  If you were a Charlton character like Captain Atom or The Question, well, welcome to Earth-C.  Captain Marvel and the rest of the Shazam! gang?  Earth-S.

My favorite Earth, though, was Earth-3 -- the Earth where Evil always triumphed over Good.  There was still a Justice League, but it was called the Crime Syndicate of Amerika and was made up of evil versions of heroes like Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern.

Ultraman, Superwoman, Owlman, Power Ring and Johnny Quick (the evil version of the Flash) repeatedly tried to take over our Earth, but they always forgot that over here, Good wins, so of course they were always defeated.

Until "Forever Evil."

The crossover event started interestingly enough.  An artifact thought to be Pandora's legendary Box was opened and turned out to be a portal to Earth-3.  Something was happening to destroy that Universe, and the Crime Syndicate escaped into our world, and this time, they figured out a way to stack the deck against us so that, for once, they would win and the whole Good/Evil balance would be forever shifted here, essentially turning Earth-1 into a new Earth-3.  Which was fine, until delays and production problems at DC caused the books to come out so very slowly that most of them have moved on to other things.  Batman, for example, is already dealing with his own Bat-Books crossover, "Gothtopia."

Which leaves the rest of us terribly, terribly confused.

Is "Forever Evil" happening on some other Earth?  Is it the proverbial "dream, hoax or imaginary story?"  Damned if I know.  

Most of DC's books make little or no reference to Forever Evil, despite the fact that supposedly our planet is largely in ruins thanks to the depredations of the bad guys.  Flash, Batman, Superman and Green Lantern are all doing other things.  The story that was supposed to clarify and re-energize the entire DC Universe has done quite the opposite, leaving everything even more confused -- and confusing for readers! -- than ever.  

If you're reading the "Forever Evil" mini-series or any of the Justice League comics (there are three, "Justice League," "Justice League Dark," and "Justice League of America") then "Forever Evil" is a HUGE deal with vast repercussions including deaths of major characters like the Martian Manhunter.  If you're reading any of Superman's, Batman's or Green Lantern's books, you'd never know any of it had happened, or was happening.  IT'S HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY CONFUSING.  And the fanboy in me wants it to be fixed, and soon.

So if you're a comics publisher, please -- don't start any big event comics until all your ducks are in a row and all the issues are in the can.  I realize that Batman can't wait for the rest of us mere mortals, but damn it, I for one would like to know if "Gothtopia" is happening after "Forever Evil" or before it, or alongside it, or on another plane of existence altogether.

DC, you need to fix this soon, before "Definitely Confusing" becomes "Decidedly Crap."

("What the Hell have you done to my favorite comics?!?)

Of Mice And Men

It dawned on me the other day that 40 years ago this month, I was cast as "Lennie" in the University of Virginia's production of John Steinbeck's Of Mice And Men. I have always loved theater. I was very active in the drama program at my high school in New Jersey, much to the dismay of my abusive father, who thought I should have pursued sports instead of appearing in some "sissy play." (I was never quite able to convey to him that for every thirty girls in the drama department, there were only three or four guys, but that was not why I favored drama over basketball. It was, however, an argument he perhaps would have understood.)

The first show I tried out for in high school was The Mouse That Roared and I actually scored a speaking part. I was forced by my father to drop out of the show so that I could instead try out for the baseball team. (It was too bad, too, because the woman whom I would one day marry was also cast in the show. I hadn't met her yet, and it would be another year before I did.) Eventually my father realized, much to his personal dismay and embarrassment, that I have absolutely no talent for sports but was actually pretty good at the theater thing. He finally came to the last show I did in high school, The Fantasticks, which got rave reviews and was actually extended to run another week because of demand from the community for tickets. He never actually gave me any praise for my performance, but grudgingly admitted that he enjoyed the show. (In all fairness, you have to be a real stone not to enjoy yourself at even a half-decent performance of The Fantasticks, and for a bunch of high school kids, our production was pretty great.)

But even though I won the school's drama scholarship, there was never any consideration by my family of my going off to college to major in anything other than pre-law. I could pick history, government or political science, but that was the extent of my choice.  Which, looking back on things, was ridiculous since I received absolutely no financial assistance from my family whatsoever. The University of Virginia offered me a combination of scholarships and work-study, which is how I was able to get myself to college. It was a fallback after the US Naval Academy discovered that I suffered from Crohn's Disease at my pre-admission physical exam and declared that I was unfit for service. But it wasn't like my family could pull the rug out from under my education, so I think it was just the habit of submitting to their intimidation that kept me from majoring in whatever I wanted. At least at first.

I had been auditioning for shows with the Virginia Players and taking elective courses in the Drama Department since my first year at U.Va. At that time, their shows were performed in a tiny shoebox of a theater in a building named Minor Hall. I stood 6'5" tall and on that stage I was, quite literally, hitting my head on the stage lights. I was never cast in anything because I never looked quite right up there. But in 1974, thanks to a grant from Dr. David Culbreth in honor of his mother, Sarah, the Drama Department opened up its new state-of-the-art theater building. It had two theaters, a traditional proscenium stage (the Culbreth Theater) and a large experimental "black box" space (the Helms Theater) which had flexible seating that could accommodate anywhere from 160 to 200 people depending on how it was configured. The main stage was not quite ready when the building opened and it was decided that the first play in the building would be done in the Helms Theater and would be Of Mice And Men.

(The Drama Building from when it opened in 1974.)

(The Helms Theater, a big black box with arrangeable seats.)

Now, I was very familiar with Of Mice And Men, and I figured that for once my size would work for me, not against me. So I auditioned for the role of Lennie, the mentally handicapped but physically powerful migrant worker and friend of George. I was called back. Then, instead of a cast list being posted, there was a second call back.  There are nine male roles. The director called back ten men, including me...and one other large man. The other guy was a graduate student in Drama, a Master of Fine Arts candidate, and had just come off of playing lead after lead after lead at Minor Hall. I didn't have a prayer.

So when the cast list was finally posted the day after the second call back, it took a while for me to believe that it was actually my name that I was seeing.

(Me, as Lennie, age 20. I think I had just accidentally crushed yet another mouse.)

The show was very well-received. We performed to a sold-out run, and I don't think it was entirely due to the new theater space. I went on to take the role one more time at a theater in San Francisco, but of all the things I've done in the theater, this performance is the one of which I am most proud. I dropped pre-law and added a major in Drama to the History major I had just about completed, stayed a fifth year at U.Va. to complete it, and went on to work steadily as an actor until that Crohn's Disease I mentioned up above became so bad that there was no way I could continue. I was forced by illness to reconsider my career and ultimately went with my second love, books and reading, and became a librarian. But that, as they say, is a story for another time. For right now, though, I'm feeling especially nostalgic this month for those days I was able to spend on the stage. I still can't quite get my mind around the fact that forty years have passed. I'm still lucky enough to have friends from that same production. Thanks to all of you.

And Now A Word...

...No, not from Our Sponsors. This page has no sponsors and doesn't bring in so much as a nickel, which means that I can spend my proverbial two cents' worth however I please. Today I want to spend my two cents singing the praises of a company called Things From Another World.

Things From Another World

There are a lot of companies out there that are purveyors of pop culture, everything from comics and action figures to high-end prop replicas (for those days when you just have to have Gandalf's sword or an alien blaster from Men In Black II.) TFAW is one of those. Their prices are usually better than most, and their website is extremely well organized. I like that I can go there and see what came out last week, what's coming out this week, and what's coming out next week, each neatly laid out in its own sub-page. Merchandise is always well-displayed, with large detailed photographs, not thumbnails. If I'm going to drop a hundred or so dollars on a statue, I want to be able to see the thing before I commit, preferably from several different angles and in detail. TFAW almost always obliges.

The reason for this plug, though, is their customer service. Recently I had an issue I needed to talk to them about. Their response was swift -- that same day -- and it was personal: I had an actual customer service rep assigned to my particular issue and she did not part ways with me until the issue was completely resolved. I didn't just get lucky this time; this has been the case whenever I've needed their help. The situation that immediately comes to mind:  a few years ago I was the victim of identity theft and had to cancel all my credit cards.  A few weeks previously, I had pre-ordered an item from TFAW with my card, and obviously, the card I used to place the pre-order was no longer valid. If you've ever ordered high-end specialty pop culture "stuff," you know that often these items arrive months later than they were supposed to arrive, and are sold out before they hit the shelves. This was the case with me. Other companies in the past have canceled the order, put me at the back of the line, and placed a new order with my replacement card -- sometimes bumping me to the back of the line or worse, shutting me out completely because of a sell-out. TFAW not only sympathized with my situation, but they reinstated the pre-order with the new card and kept my place in line. This was neither easy nor convenient for them, but they did it as a matter of course -- I didn't even need to ask them to do it, or to whine about losing my place in the order queue. And that's just one example.

So if you need anything comics- or movie-related, or a toy or action figure or statue for your favorite geek, you should strongly consider checking out Things From Another World. They bill themselves as the "Best Online Comic Book Store" and they're right.

London Holiday, 6: Cardiff and "Doctor Who"

December 30th:  For our last day in the UK, we took an early morning train to Cardiff, the capital of Wales, in order to visit "Doctor Who: The Experience" at the BBC Cymru Studio Complex. I am a pretty huge fan of Doctor Who.  It's the longest-running science fiction show on television, having just celebrated its 50th anniversary last November. I fell in love with the show when various PBS stations started carrying it in the 1970's, and I was ecstatic when Russell T. Davies convinced the BBC to revive it 2005, with a better budget and a stellar cast. The show has been a ratings juggernaut ever since the revival. It's a great show. It's well done, beautifully written by luminaries such as Neil Gaiman and Steven Moffatt, and appeals to all ages. There's a definite nostalgia factor for older fans such as me, and the high quality of the programme brings in new viewers all the time.

A plug:  For those unfamiliar with the show, the basic premise is that a human-looking alien calling himself The Doctor, an alien from an advanced society, stole a time and space machine from his people and travels the universe and history righting wrongs and saving innocents. His time/space machine used to be able to automatically blend in wherever and whenever it landed, but that particular circuit is broken and it's stuck in the shape of a 1960's British Police Telephone Box. The ship is, famously, bigger on the inside and is called the TARDIS. If you are willing to invest two hours of your time in some really quality television, go and find these two episodes: "Blink" starring David Tennant (the Royal Shakespeare Company's "Hamlet." by the way) as the 10th Doctor, and "Vincent" starring Matt Smith as the 11th Doctor.  They are self-contained, and brilliant.

For those a bit more familiar with the show, let me share this quote from current show runner Steven Moffat:  "It's hard to talk about the importance of an imaginary hero [like the Doctor.] But heroes are important. Heroes tell us something about ourselves. History books tell us who we used to be, documentaries tell us who we are now, but heroes tell us who we want to be. And a lot of our heroes depress me. But you know, when they made this particular hero, they didn't give him a gun.  They gave him a screwdriver to fix things. They didn't give him a tank or a warship or an X-Wing fighter, they gave him a call box from which you can call for help. And they didn't give him a superpower or pointy ears or a heat ray. They gave him an extra heart. They gave him two hearts. And that's an extraordinary thing. There will never come a time when we don't need a hero like the Doctor."

That, in a nutshell, is why I love the show, and why I could not travel all the way to the UK without visiting Cardiff.

Outside the Experience sound stage in Cardiff.

The building is one of the soundstages at the BBC Cymru complex, and the show itself is filmed right next door. If filming is not actively occuring, one can tour the studio, but alas, the day we visited, the show was filming. The "Experience" itself is divided into two portions: first there is an interactive "ride" experience, where you walk through an adventure with the Doctor.  Matt Smith, the 11th Doctor, filmed about an hour's worth of original material as you walk through sets and props on your way to save him from the Pandorica. Again. It's loaded with costumes and props from the show, and was a fan's dream come true. The effects were well-done, even the 3-D movie portions, and if that alone had been the extent of the Experience, it would have been worth the trip, at least for me.

But it's not. At the conclusion of the Adventure, you are taken to what is a very, very extensive museum of fifty years' worth of costumes, props, and history of the show. Several incarnations of the Doctor's ship, the TARDIS, are there, as well as screen-used costumes from every single Doctor and most of his human "companions."

The quintessential Doctor Who villain, the pitiless Dalek.

The costume of Tom Baker, my favorite Doctor.  My beautiful wife knitted me a duplicate of his twelve-foot scarf for Christmas.  She researched where the original wool came from so as to make it as authentic as possible, and it is one of my most prized possessions!

Me with Ninth Doctor Christopher Eccleston's TARDIS console. I am thinking seriously about pulling a Doctor and stealing a TARDIS myself in this picture.

The TARDIS console in action!

An Ood, one of many, many aliens at the exhibit.

The three TARDISes and costumes from all three Doctors from the 50th Anniversary Special.

A Cyberman, another emotionless villain.

And finally, the villain that creeps me out the most:  Weeping Angels.  They only move when nobody's looking, so... Don't Blink.

After several hours in the museum, we hit the gift shop, which as a fan from the States, was a bit hearbreaking:  they have every DVD of every available episode ... but they're all coded for Region 2, Britain and Europe, and will not play in most US players. Still, there were tons of books and other goodies and I managed to leave with quite a few souvenirs!

We had time before we had to catch our train back to London, so we explored Cardiff a little. The National Museum is there, but they had inexplicably closed (even though, yet again, the website assured us they were open.) It was a shame because they have a wonderful collection of Impressionist paintings. So we walked over to Cardiff Castle, a beautiful ruin with elements going back to Roman times.

Cardiff Castle, specifically, the Romanesque ruin.)

Then it was time for one last delicious pub meal -- there are at least five pubs near the train station, and all of them have excellent reputations. Certainly the two we at which we ate were superb, O'Neill's and The Prince of Wales. Then it was time to board the train, get back to the flat, and pack up for an early morning trip to Heathrow on New Year's Eve for the long, long trip home.

Overall, the London holiday was the trip of a lifetime. With Crohn's Disease, travel is often difficult for me. At best, it's problematic. I had to take massive doses of unpleasant medications in order to temporarily stabilize my condition enough for the trip. I am currently in the process of weaning myself off of the worst of them now that I'm home. So I almost certainly will never be able to make such a trip again, which is a pity, really, because there was so much I still didn't get to see or do.

But clearly, from this and all the previous entries, there was a lot that I DID get to do and see, things I never dreamed would be possible. I am grateful that I had the opportunity, and I dedicate these entries to my family for going along with my crazy scheme, and to my doctors, who helped make it possible for me to do it at all.