Saturday, June 1, 2019

Things I Will Never Understand About Living in Central Pennsylvania

There are some things I will never understand about living in Central Pennsylvania, in spite of having lived here since 1988.  (Also, I grew up in central New Jersey, which you wouldn't have thought was that far from here, but in fact, in many ways it's like night and day.)  Anyway, here's a short list:

• The abomination that is chicken and waffles.  What the serious hell.
• Not using a turn signal until after having begun the turn. Or the lane change.
• Using the expression "a while" when you mean "now," as in a food server asking you, "What can I get you to drink a while?"
• Taking three times as long to make a left turn as it does to turn right.  Like it's a separate career.
• Sauerkraut
• Pennsylvania Dutch everything, especially those coded hex signs.
• The incredibly divisive issue that is Shoo Fly Pie.  Wet bottom, or dry?  Choose carefully.
• The deep south Bible-belt flavor of the area, sandwiched as it is between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh.
• Holding the State Fair (aka the Farm Show) in January.
• Chicken Pot Pie which is neither pie, nor in a pot, nor does it have a crust.  It's chicken and veggies in a cream sauce with big fat noodles.  At least it's chicken.

This is my home.  I do love it.

Monday, December 17, 2018

34 Years


This week I celebrated my 34th wedding anniversary, to a girl I met in high school.  She was not my high school sweetheart, although I loved her madly from afar from the first moment I saw her.  She did become my friend while at school, and years later, we started dating.  It took us until we were 31 years old, but we were finally married.

One of the hardest things I ever had to do happened a couple of years ago, at a choir recital we called "Music for the Soul" based on the writings of Robert Fulghum.  My health over the years has taken a lot from me.  I have trouble walking.  I suffer from neurological disorders that cause pain in my arms and legs, which can be acute at times.  Once upon a time I was a working actor with the various skills you might think an actor should have in their toolbox.  Now all I have left is a decent speaking voice.  My choir director generously called me the James Earl Jones of the chorus.  Whenever we needed to incorporate a reading into a performance, I was usually called upon to deliver it. 

The hard thing I mentioned was reading this excerpt by Fulghum about the actor, Charles Boyer, who is pictured above.  It was almost impossible for me to get through the piece, because it describes perfectly exactly how I feel about the woman I married 34 years ago.  This was it:

"This is kind of personal.  It may get a little syrupy, so watch out.  It started as a note to my wife.  And then I thought that since some of you might have husbands or wives (or life partners) and might feel the same way, I’d pass it along.  I don’t own this story, anyway.  Charles Boyer does.

"Remember Charles Boyer?  Suave, dapper, handsome, graceful.  Lover of the most famous and beautiful ladies of the silver screen.  That was on camera and in the fan magazines.  In real life it was different.

"There was only one woman.  For forty-four years. His wife, Patricia.  Friends said it was a lifelong love affair. They were no less lovers and friends and companions after forty-four years than after the first year.

"Then Patricia developed cancer of the liver.  And though the doctors told Charles, he could not bear to tell her.  And so he sat by her bedside to provide hope and cheer.  Day and night for six months.  He could not change the inevitable.  Nobody could.  And Patricia died in his arms.  Two days later Charles Boyer was also dead.  By his own hand.  He said he did not want to live without her.  He said, 'Her love was life to me.'

"This was no movie. As I said, it’s the real story—Charles Boyer’s story.

"It’s not for me to pass judgment on how he handled his grief.  But it is for me to say that I am touched and comforted in a strange way.  Touched by the depth of love behind the apparent sham of Hollywood love life.  Comforted to know that two people can love each other that much, that long.

"I don’t know how I would handle my grief in similar circumstances.  I pray I shall never have to stand in his shoes. (Here comes the personal part—no apologies.)  But there are moments when I look across the room—amid the daily ordinariness of life—and see the person I call my wife and friend and companion. And I understand why Charles Boyer did what he did.  It really is possible to love someone that much.  I know.  I’m certain of it."

And I do know.  And I am certain of it.  I used to say, the heck with Romeo and Juliet; I want a love like Gomez and Morticia.  I got even luckier than that, though.  I have a love like Charles and Patricia.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

In Memoriam: Stan Lee

This is a hard one.  I had the privilege of meeting Stan Lee at the Baltimore Comic-Con in 2012.  I only got to spend a minute or two with him, but he was absolutely wonderful about it.  I had a little elevator speech for Stan, down to under a minute, but I guess his handlers thought that was too much and tried to move things along.  Stan interrupted them with an, "Excuse me, I'm talking here!" like the good Bronx boy he was and we got to finish our little moment and have our picture taken.

Getting to have that minute with Stan was very important to me.  You see, Stan's work at Marvel Comics in the 1960's had a huge influence on me.  Everything I learned about how to be a man, how to be a good person, I learned from Stan Lee.  Not just "with great power comes great responsibility" (although that is itself a powerful lesson for a 10-year-old kid) but also that real heroes do what needs to be done without regard to cost to self or to inconvenience.  You stop to help that lost kid even if it means missing that job interview.  You help that little old lady even if it makes you late for a date and costs you a relationship.  You do the right thing.

I'm saying all this incredibly poorly.  I grew up in a house where my father, my one male role model, was a violent and abusive man who lied to his family and stole from his work.  On several occasions he lost his job because he was caught stealing from the company, petty stuff we could have afforded to be honest about.  I could list his sins for pages, but the bottom line is that I didn't learn much about how to live a good life, or to be a good father or even a good person from my own dad.

But I did learn that stuff from Stan, and I got to thank him for it.  He seemed to be appreciative, but I know I am only one of many, many fans who told him much the same thing.  Stan made the world a better place for his being in it, and I'm glad I got to meet him.

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Eastern Stupid, er, Standard Time


So tonight we once again set ourselves up for Springtime jet-lag by messing with the clocks.  I used to think this was absolutely the dumbest thing we did as a society.  Then we elected Trump.  But I digress....

Every year I hope this is for the last time.  If our fearless cheeto-faced gibbon of a leader really wanted to make a difference in our lives via an executive order, he would end this stupidity and just keep us on Saving Time year-round.  I don't need the sun to go down at 4:00 PM here.  Ever.  Yet, here we are.

Write your legislators, folks.  This is actually one stupid thing that we can fix.  Morocco this year (Morocco!) agreed that the whole idea is stupid and is not changing their clocks.


Surely we are at least as smart as they are?  Please??

Saturday, October 20, 2018

OUCH!

Sorry to have been away.  Sprained my lower back.  For several days I was completely incapacitated. As things stand now ("stand" HA.) I can only remain upright for short periods of time before muscle spasms start up again.  Nights have been impossible; can't remember when I got more than an hour of sleep uninterrupted.  This is gonna take time, and I simply do not heal the way I did even as few as five years ago.  So I'll be back when I can.

Meanwhile, please remember:

VOTE on Tuesday, November 6th.

If a sudden emergency calls you away from your polling place, be it illness or an unplanned trip for your work, here in PA you can request an emergency absentee ballot.  Details available from the League of Women Voters.  Don't let your vote go uncounted.

If you are still in line when the polls close, you still have the right to cast your ballot.  They are legally required to stay open until everyone who lined up before closing time has voted.  Demand your right if it turns out to be necessary.

If you get to your polling place and find that for some reason you have been removed from the voter rolls, you have the right to demand a provisional ballot.  Don't be afraid to do it.  In PA the criteria for provisional ballot voting can be found at https://www.votespa.com/Voting-in-PA/Pages/Voting-by-Provisional-Ballot.aspx

VOTE!

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Doctor Who Season 12!

My "countdown widget" has finally up and failed altogether.  Hence, this announcement:

The season premiere of Doctor Who will premiere all over the world at 1:45 PM Eastern Time on Sunday, October 7th.

The premiere will also be available in selected theatres.  Check your local area movie houses to see if they are participating if you want to see it on the Big Screen.

Again:  The first woman to play the Doctor will begin her tenure on Sunday, October 7, 2018 at 1:45 PM.

Woohoo!!

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Remembering 9/11

(From the quickly-dumped Spider-Man movie trailer.)

It's hard to believe so much time has passed since the 9/11 tragedy.  I was a new stay-at-home dad; my daughter had just gone off to elementary school and I was cleaning house with the television on in the background.  It was playing some NYC-based network morning show -- I honestly don't remember which one, but I think it may have been CBS This Morning -- with a view of the city behind the newsreader's desk.  I just happened to glance up to see the first plane plow into the tower.  Like most of us, for that first few minutes, I assumed that it had been a horrible accident.  Then I saw the second crash, live, and I knew something horrible was going down.

The hardest thing about that day was trying to explain to a first-grader what was going on.  The weirdest thing was the quiet skies for the rest of that week.

It's nice that enough time has passed that media can bear to show images of the twin towers.  A trailer for the then-new first Spider-Man movie was quickly yanked because it showed Spidey catching a helicopter in a web he'd spun between the two towers.  Ghostbusters went away for a while because of the painful views of the city which showed the towers prominently in the skyline.  And other movies either quietly went away or were re-edited to remove the images of the World Trade Center because the pictures were just too painful to look at.

I'm glad that enough time has passed that we can look at those beautiful buildings again.  I still get a little pang when I see them.  As a kid growing up in Jersey, I remember when the towers were built and I saw them go up in stages on our frequent trips to the City.  I remember my first trip to the observationd deck there, and I still have the squashed penny from one of those dorky souvenir machines that shows them.  I myself did experience a pang the first time I saw them in a film afterwards, but it was nothing like the first trip I took to NYC afterwards, when they were no longer part of the skyline with which I had become so familiar.  That was a blow right to my heart.

But an important part of "Never Forget" for me is recognizing what an achievement those buildings were, and honoring their beauty and their memory.  9/11 will always be the Pearl Harbor of my generation, but it should never mean that we don't bring ourselves to look at what we lost.  Remembering is the best way to give honor.