Thanksgiving week

I'll tell you right at the beginning:  this is another rant about Crohn's Disease, so if you're uninterested you can stop right here.

As of 1:46 PM today, I am declaring the latest attempt at treating my Crohn's to be officially over.  I am referring to my taking a course of low-dose Naltrexone.  It's supposed to be The Next Big Thing in treatment; studies show it knocks something like 85% of Crohn's sufferers into remission after just a week on the drug; blah blah blah.  It doesn't work, at least not for me.  You would think that after all these decades I would learn not to get my hopes up any more.  Yet here we are again.

I'm just disgusted.  I'm disgusted with myself for allowing hope back into my life.  I need to learn to be more pessimistic, at least where this disease is concerned.  Better to be pleasantly surprised in the future than bitterly disappointed again.  I'm sick of taking THIRTY-SIX PILLS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE.  I'm sick of never being able to go out unless I know exactly where the bathroom is.  I'm sick of having to bring a change of clothes to the grocery store "just in case."  I'm sick of wearing diapers to travel.  I'm just sick of this effing disease, period.  Over the years I have tried sulfasalazine, probanthine, methotrexate, enbrel, remicade, prednisone, kineret, cellcept, flagyl, and a host of other medications.  Nothing has worked.  My immune system remains "convinced" that my GI tract is some kind of invader and stays on the attack in spite of every bloody thing I try.  I have had so much surgery that to remove any more of my small bowel would slowly kill me of malnutrition.  I have none left to spare.  I can no longer feel my hands and feet because of negative reactions to remicade infusions; the drug has given me essentially ALS of the sensory nerves in my extremities.  I am thankful that my motor nerves remain unaffected.

And this Thanksgiving week I want to say that I am profoundly grateful for my family.  If not for my wife and my daughter, this would probably not be a rant.  It would be a farewell.

Worse Details

OK.  It turns out the endodontist was not entirely forthcoming with me, and left it to my family dentist to break the bad news.  Seeing a periodontist is probably just a "Hail Mary" play -- a long shot at best.  There is probably a hairline fracture in one of the roots of my tooth, the one which previously had a root canal in 1998.  Turns out that endodontically treated teeth can become brittle over time.  The hairline fracture allows in bacteria, the infection becomes an abscess, and there you are.  Or rather, there I am.

There is usually no viable periodontic treatment.  Seeing a periodontist is strictly to cover everybody's ass so they can say we tried everything.  I am most likely going to lose a tooth that has cost me almost two large to save over the years.

There are four options open to me.  One:  Have the tooth extracted, and then do nothing and live with a hole which will probably cause me to ultimately lose every tooth behind it.  Two:  Get a partial bridge for around a thousand dollars and live with the discomfort of having a single false tooth.  Three:  Get an implant to replace it.  Cost of an implant is $3,100.00 plus the new crown that goes on top.  Figure four Gs.  Or Four:  Get something called a fixed bridge.  It's three false teeth together in one unit -- #1 gets mounted on the tooth in front of the hole and #3 gets mounted on the tooth behind the hole, with #2 filling in the gap.  Cost of a fixed bridge is $810 per tooth, so $2,430.00.  The advantage of the fixed bridge is that you don't have to take it in and out at night.

If you'd care to leave your thoughts in the comments section, I would love to hear them.

Details

In my last post -- which I hope you will read, by the way, because I really am proud of that story! -- I made brief mention of a dental abscess with which I've been dealing for about two weeks now.  I just got home from the endodontist, who basically said, "Not my job."  My dentist had diagnosed the abscess as coming from a previous root canal which needed to be retreated.  The endodontist could find no fault with the root canal, and thinks that the abscess is coming from a PERIOdontal problem.  So now I need to wait still longer to see a different specialist.  And I'm still in pain.  Admittedly, the pain is not excruciating, by virtue of the fact that the tooth in question had a root canal and is essentially largely dead, but still -- I am in some pain.

I miss the old days when my dentist did all this stuff, I really do.  And I surely hope that I don't have to lose this tooth.

Owning a body is like owning a house, I guess.  There's always something that needs to be fixed, or worse, replaced.

Another Children's Story

Here is another story I wrote for Olivia, part of that series of "Hats" books I had planned.  Sorry there's no more original post this time, but I am just too sick and miserable to sit at the keyboard much.  (A dental abscess on top of everything else can do that to a guy.)


Regardless of all that, I really like this story.  Here you go:

OLIVIA AND THE SHINING ARMOR

(a sequel to Olivia’s Hats)

©2001 by Tom Hayes

Olivia lived with her family in a very nice house at the end of a quiet street.  But there was something quite special about this house.  It had something that no other house had.

In an extra room at the back of the house was a huge closet.  That closet was packed FULL of hats.  And these hats were not ordinary hats -- not ordinary hats at all.

Olivia’s house had once belonged to a magician, and the hats had belonged to him.  And every time Olivia placed one of those hats on her head, something very unusual happened.

She might find herself digging for dinosaur bones.  Or in the middle of a baking contest.  Or even far beneath the sea.  All she knew for sure was that if she put on a hat, there would be a loud PHWOMP!  And she would find herself in the middle of some new adventure.

One Saturday morning, Olivia decided it was time to check out the closet once again.  She went back to the extra room, opened up the closet door, and looked at all the racks and hooks and boxes and crates.  No matter when she came to the closet, there was always something special that she had never noticed before.  This time, far back in one dark corner, she noticed a glint of something shiny from between two large cardboard boxes. 

Olivia went over to investigate.  There, behind the cardboard boxes, was a hatbox.  A very unusual looking hatbox.  It wasn’t made of wood or cardboard or paper.  It was made of metal.  It was held together with big rivets and decorated with a gigantic metal bow.  Somehow Olivia managed to take off the heavy lid.  There inside the box was a knight’s helmet!  It was made of a silvery metal and decorated in gold.  On top of the helmet was a gold dragon.  And the visor was made to look like a dragon’s mouth, so that the knight inside was peeking out from between the dragon’s teeth.  It was the most amazing helmet Olivia had ever seen.  Without another thought, she placed the helmet on her head.

PHWOMP!  Suddenly Olivia found herself in a clearing in some dark woods.  She opened her visor to take a better look around.  (She knew that if she took off her helmet she would find herself back in the closet at home again, and that wouldn’t do at all.)  She turned around and through the trees she dimly saw what looked like some sort of low cliff or hillside.  There was a cave.  She started to walk towards the cave, and she realized that her clothes had changed into a suit of armor that matched her helmet!  There were gold dragons on her chest plate, dragon scales on her metal sleeves, and her boots were decorated with sharp golden talons.  She began clanking her way towards the cave again. 

Just as Olivia was getting close to the entrance of the cave, she heard a loud, deep booming voice from inside say, “I HEAR YOU OUT THERE AND I’M NOT COMING OUT!  YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT IT!”  Olivia had no idea who the voice belonged to or what it was talking about.

“I have no idea who you are or what you’re talking about!” she said.

“HAH!” said the voice.  “I SUPPOSE YOU THINK I’M FOOLISH ENOUGH TO FALL FOR THAT OLD TRICK?  WELL, I’M NOT!” it said.

“Truly,” said Olivia, “I don’t know what you mean.  My name is Olivia, and I just got here.”

“I’M NOT BLIND, YOU KNOW!” said the voice.  ‘YOU SAY YOUR NAME IS ‘OLIVIA’ BUT YOU LOOK MORE LIKE ‘SIR OLIVIA’ TO ME!!!”

Olivia didn’t know what to say to that.  She was trying to decide what to say next when a little old man dressed in wizard’s robes and a large pointed hat came rushing into the clearing in front of the cave.

(A note for the illustrator:  This is the same old man as in the other Olivia’s Hats stories.)

“There you are, Sir Olivia!” he gasped.

“I KNEW IT!” grumbled the voice from inside the cave.

“Haven’t you slain the dragon yet?” the old wizard asked.

“D-dragon?” asked Olivia.

“SLAIN?!?” roared the voice.

“Why of course!” said the little old man.  “You are the champion of our kingdom.  It is your job to rid us of this evil dragon!”

“I’M NOT EVIL!” bellowed the voice.

“Of course you are.  You’re a dragon!” said the wizard.

Well, Olivia was a little confused by what was happening, but even so, she knew that what she had just heard was WRONG.  She turned to the old wizard and said in her sternest voice, “Wait just one moment.  You and I have been friends for a long time, Sir Wizard.  You have always been there to help me no matter what hat I tried on or what adventure I found myself in.  But what you just said was wrong.  Nobody is evil just because of how they look or what they are.”

The old wizard looked puzzled.

Olivia said, “Just because I’m a girl, does that mean that I couldn’t be a knight?  Does being old make you a poor wizard?  Of course not!  So why does being a dragon mean he has to be evil?  It’s very, very wrong to say that everybody or everything has to be one thing only.”

Olivia suddenly had a thought.  “What, exactly, is this dragon supposed to have done?” she asked.

The old wizard removed his pointy hat and scratched his wispy gray head.  He thought.  Finally he said, “Well, he’s been really loud and scary.  The people are very frightened.”

“Well, I may not know much,” said Olivia, “but I do know that dragons can’t really HELP being loud and scary looking.  They ARE dragons, after all.  That still doesn’t make them evil.  Has he, um, eaten anybody?”

“No....” said the wizard.

“Has he burned down any houses, or crops, or stolen any animals from the farms?” asked Olivia.

“No....” said the wizard.

“OF COURSE NOT!”  bellowed the dragon.  “I’M A VEGETARIAN, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE!”

“Really?” asked Olivia.

“YES!” said the dragon from within the cave.  “YOU CAN’T MAKE DRAGON FIRE WHEN YOU EAT MEAT!  YOU HAVE TO EAT SPECIAL PLANTS AND HERBS FOR DRAGON FIRE!  I THOUGHT EVERYBODY KNEW THAT!”

“I guess we didn’t know that,” said Olivia.  “I guess this is what happens when people -- and dragons -- don’t talk to one another and try to get to know each other.  I’d really like to get to know YOU,” she said.  “Won’t you please come out of your cave so we can start to be friends?”

“DO YOU HAVE A SWORD HIDDEN SOMEWHERE?” asked the dragon.  “I DON’T SEE ONE, BUT I THINK THIS MIGHT STILL BE A TRICK!”

“Nope.  No sword,” said Olivia.  And she did a little twirl around in front of the cave so that the dragon could get a good look at her.

“WELL, ALL RIGHT THEN,” said the dragon, ‘BUT IF THAT WIZARD SO MUCH AS TRIES TO PULL OUT A WAND THERE WILL BE TROUBLE.”

Olivia looked at the wizard.  It was a look which clearly said, “Don’t you DARE pull out your wand!!!”

There was a rustling and a scuffling from the cave.  Suddenly an enormous golden head poked out.  The dragon was the most amazing creature Olivia had ever seen.  He leaned over and sniffed her.  “NICE ARMOR!” he said.  “IT LOOKS LIKE ME!”  And sure enough, it did.

The dragon sniffed at the wizard next.  The old man trembled, but he let the dragon smell him.  “URG,” said the dragon.  “YOU SMELL LIKE POTIONS.  YUCK.”  The old wizard frowned.

“I think you two have a lot to talk about,” said Olivia.  “But I think if we really try, we can all help each other and learn from each other.  Dragon, wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to worry about knights coming after you any more?”

“IT WOULD INDEED,” said the dragon.

“And Sir Wizard, wouldn’t it be wonderful if the kingdom had a friendly dragon to help it?  Think of all the wonderful things he could do for you!  He could guard the crops, and scare away enemies.  He could make fires for people in the wintertime, and teach us all kinds of things!  Dragons are supposed to be very wise, you know,” she said.

“OH, WE ARE,” said the dragon.

“See?” said Olivia.  “Probably all we’d have to do in return is leave him alone to gather his special plants and herbs, and make sure he had some privacy.”

“YEAH, THAT WOULD PRETTY MUCH DO IT!” said the dragon.

“You would really do all that for us?” asked the old man.  “And all we’d have to do in return is help out with your special plants and leave you alone?”

“WELL, THERE IS ONE MORE THING,” said the dragon.  “I HAVE NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE SOME LOVELY CARROTS GROWING ON YOUR FARMS.  DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD SELL ME SOME OF YOUR EXTRAS?  I HAVE A WHOLE HOARD OF DRAGON GOLD IN HERE THAT I DON’T QUITE KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH, AND I REALLY, REALLY LOVE CARROTS.”

“Why, of course!” said the wizard.  “I’m sure we could come to some kind of arrangement.”

Olivia went over to the dragon and petted him gently on his great golden snout.  “I’m glad I could be your friend,” she said.  “I hope I can come see you again.”

“CERTAINLY.  ANY TIME!” he said.

“I don’t even know your name!” realized Olivia.

“IT’S OLIVER,” said the dragon.  “PLEASED TO MEET YOU, SIR OLIVIA.”

“And I’m very pleased to meet you, too!” said Olivia.

Olivia went over to the old wizard and gave him an awkward hug.  (It’s hard to hug somebody when you’re wearing armor.)  “Now you be nice and try hard to work things out,” she said, “because I will be back to make sure everyone is still friends!”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that, Sir Olivia,” said the wizard.  “I have a feeling that things are going to work out just fine!”  Then the wizard turned to the dragon and they began to talk about carrots and herbs.  Olivia quietly removed the knight’s helmet.

BAMPH!  Olivia was back in the closet once again.  She took off the helmet and carefully placed it back in its metal hatbox.  She thought about this latest adventure, and decided that it was her most interesting one yet.  She was very glad to have made a new friend like Oliver.  Yes, this was a helmet which she would try on again some day!

Then Olivia left the closet, closed the door, and went downstairs to see if her Mom would fix her some carrots with her dinner.

The End

Carry Me Back

I just got back from a trip to Lynchburg, VA, to visit yet another college in our ongoing search for continuing education for my 18-year-old daughter.  This time we visited Sweet Briar College, a small (fewer than 800 students) women's liberal arts college.  It was the exact opposite of everything we have been looking at so far.  It's small, it's extremely rural, and the only males are on the faculty.  Although the student body numbers about 752, the college itself is situated on the fourth largest amount of real estate of any institution of higher learning in the US.  Sweet Briar is situated in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, and I have to admit, the setting is stunning.  We had perfect weather -- unseasonably warm, mid-60's Fahrenheit, with crystal clear blue skies -- and the school really rolled out the red carpet.

There were separate programs for students and parents.  Parents met with the university president, the dean of admissions and the director of financial aid, while the students slept in the dorms, ate on the meal plan and sampled classes.  The entire open house ran over two days.

Now Olivia has to decide some things.  Does she want a school that's rural, or one that's urban?  Does she want the cultural amenities that a city can offer, or does she want to drive 30 minutes for a pizza so that she can live in beautiful countryside?  Does she want to share classes with men?  Does she want a school where she will eventually know everyone, or does she want a larger institution?  And does she want a school that's well-known, or one that is less familiar to most people?  She doesn't know yet, and neither do I.

There are certainly advantages to both settings.  I have no sense at all of what would be a good fit for her, although I suspect she is leaning, in her heart of hearts, to an urban school.  I didn't see the spark in her at Sweet Briar that I saw in Pittsburgh and Boston.  But I could just be imagining that.  I could also see her blossoming without the distraction that having males in the equation can provide.  I just didn't get that sense of, "yeah, this is the place for me!" though, when we were in Virginia.

I will be very interested to see her final list of schools to which we are to send her SAT scores.

Costume Postscript

Here's what we did for Halloween!  Olivia went as the character "Hungary" from the Japanese comic book (or more properly, "manga") Hetalia Axis Powers which poses the question, "What if each country in the world was actually just one individual person, and they all lived together?"  It's a hoot.

Megan and I went as Grandmama Addams and Uncle Fester from The Addams Family.  On my Facebook page I state that I am Uncle Fester's long-lost twin.  Obviously I wasn't kidding....

Too bad there are no burgeoning opportunities for Fester impersonators....